RED MEAT for he's a folly good jello from the secret files of max cannon
Mr. Bix, I need your help on a very, uh, private matter.
Fear not, mortal. I have been programmed to uphold the humans' confidentiality at all costs. Tell me what you need.
Well, I ... my wife's not very satisfied with our, uh, love life, and, well, could you teach me how to be a sex machine?
Certainly. First we'll start by ripping out your motherboard and upgrading. Then we'll see about hot swapping your reproductive system, and of course the casing is going to have to go. Hold on, I'm getting an incoming call.
Damn, I forgot how literal machines can be.
Hey Don, guess which one of your friends is a sexual failure?
2001-05-15 22:05:02By House of Eeyore

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SComment
8
8
8
8Unlike on Ted, it grew on me. - murphy
8
7I like this. Vaca
7
7Ted's last line seems awkward.
7
7This was charmingly by rote until Bix 3 absolutely killed me. --VX
7
7Very nice. -IF
7It was horrid, until Bix went public in that last line.
7
7"I got to feelin' like a machine, baby..."
7
7this is pretty good, now that I read it again
7damn fine last line. Preloggy
6+1 for Bix's 3.
6
6-DB
6Rambling, weak setup, leading to killer Bix 3. -PB
6Bix #3 saves this.
6CH
6
6
6Wordy, but good concept
6bbg
6
6
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6
6
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6Major points for Bix's 3
6Funny techie talk from Bix
6Saved by Bix's last line.
6
6If you read Bix in "Forbidden Planet" Robby's voice, it's better.
5bix's last quote saves it.
5Ted's #2 is very un-Tedlike
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42 jokes competing, and neither one seems to be winning. -FV
4
4--TRT

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