RED MEAT tcs@b, v2 from the secret files of max cannon
Good morning, Johnny. Here's your mail.
Hi, Matt, pardon the mess. The package you delivered yesterday exploded.
We don't pack them, we just deliver them.
Oh, that's fine. I wasn't home, and it only destroyed the foyer.
Ah, here's a package for you, too. Please sign on line nine.
Of course. I'm on my way out for more lumber. Could you leave it in the kitchen?
1998-10-12 10:17:13By Spoggles

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SComment
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7+1 for grace saving Johnny from those plotting against him
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7On revisit, it's got me chortling. +4.. Afg.
73 dilutes a great idea. --VX
7
6-MMM-
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5Spoggles deep sixes my vote average (but + because there's an actual joke)
5
5 - BFJ -
5Might work with a rewrite.
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5Matt 3: "Ah, I just found another package for you. Please sign on line nine."
5Could trim some dialogue for +1
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5Heh. I like trusting JL.
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4Weak, weak execution. -PB
4
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4Just shut up! Way to kill a decent idea.
4-Cap'n
4
4-FV
4Badly, badly done..crz
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4messy and unworthwhile
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4+7 for good premise, -3 for poor execution. - Kres
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3-bbg
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3Nope. Not getting me hard. --TRT
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3Very weak
3huh?
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3Pointless.
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3If I was an archaeologist, I might have found a joke in this mess -herp
3Just reaches critical mass, and then has a total meltdown. -CL
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2-1 for almost finding the funny.
2-DB
2Where's the joke?
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2Gosh, it's gotten even worse! -- HoE
2some potential in here. What's with the tagline?
2Whopdee-fucking-doo, the unibomber stikes the lemon.

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